Do Do that Voodoo That You Do So Well

So, I was contemplating my run of bad luck and I mentioned this to my sister, Susan. Her response was, “What bad luck?”

Starting in November 2004, I totaled a car. In February 2005, my oldest cat died and then Bernie died three days later. About six weeks after that, I had to put our dog down.

My eye started to act up and got worse, and had to be treated with high doses of prednisone. I then had a biopsy that gave me the worst black eye of all time, and I underwent radiation treatment on the eye.

Then I found that I owed $1800 to the IRS for 2003. (I sent them a check. They sent the money back. I called and found out that I did owe them the money, so I sent the check they sent to me back to them. I got a letter saying that I hadn’t paid. I cleared that up. I got another letter that said that I hadn’t paid. I cleared that up. I finally got a letter that said that I paid. Sigh)

I cannot seem to get past a second interview for a writing/editing job that pays me enough so that I can quit freelancing.

And just when I got out from under the general lousiness of 2005, I was diagnosed with cancer.

That bad luck, I told Susan.

Somewhere, someone is sticking pins into a voodoo doll of me.

Be that as it may, things are proceeding apace for the upcoming hysterectomy.

I went for a series of CAT scans on Monday. For this, I had to drink about a quart of white stuff. The first sip was not too bad. The second through two hundred and second sip tasted god-awful. There were two Hasidic men sitting in the waiting room with me and I wanted to ask them for the Yiddish and Hebrew words for “god-awful tasting” so that I would have more words to describe this flavor, but I chickened out.

The CAT scan was pretty normal. They injected me with a contrast medium and warned me that I might have a hot flash and a metallic taste for a second or so. I felt nicely warm for a minute or so, which was good because the CAT room was freezing. I did not have metallic taste, though.

Tuesday, I met with the gastroenterologist to plan my colonoscopy. He examined me and mentioned in passing that I have an umbilical hernia. I said it was news to me. He pointed out to me that sometime over the last few months my innie had learned to turn into an outie if I clench my abdominal muscles. I asked if this needed to be fixed before the hysterectomy. He laughed and told me that I won’t even have a belly button after the hysterectomy.

So, I am losing my uterus, ovaries, cervix, and navel.

Today, I went to the New York Blood Center to donate a pint of blood to myself. I do that again on Monday.

This will be the pattern for my life for the next couple of weeks. I am starting to look forward to the weeks of recuperation from the surgery. I can use the rest.